My whole life has been a quest to find an identity.
Background knowledge:
My lovely very nationalistic mother, was born an raise in Colombia. All males in the family had always been in the millitary. My mom as not only the first of her sister to go to college she was also the first to leave the country at the age of 17. She was my age.. wow
On the other hand you have my dad. He comes from a wealthy Venezuelan family that I believe can trace back their roots for centuries, never moving from Venezuela.
On the other hand you have my dad. He comes from a wealthy Venezuelan family that I believe can trace back their roots for centuries, never moving from Venezuela.
I was born and raised in the Caracas, and I was taught to say that NO, I wasnt Venezuelan, I was half Venezuelan half colombian. As a 4 year it was confusing and stressful to explain to people. My mom would be sad if I said I was Venezuelan but I just said it cause it was easier.Even though I have always identify myself more colombian, Venezuela was my home and where I though I belong. Obviously I had a venezuelan accent, but my colombian would still make fun of me for it (like seriously what did they expect from a little kid?) . Additionally, even my own friend in venezuela said I talked funny. I was always confuse on "who" I was supposed to be and who I was supposed to please.
Background knowledge:
Just before my 9th bday I moved to Boca Raton, Florida. (Aka where old people go retire)
I attended a probably 98% white 100%Christian private school. (Aka living hell)
I moved to America barely knowing any English and knowing close to NOTHING culture wise. The school had no ESL program or any special classes that I could be apart of. *insert crying 9year old me crying every night because I didnt understand the homework*. While that uear of my life was awful, and I have block out most of those memories, I do remember celebrating EVERY NATIONAL HOLIDAY. No not just 4th of July , thanksgiving ect., I mean black friday, presidents day, saint patricks day, and basically every holiday in between. We gained so much weight all thanks to 'MURICA goodness of fast food. My family and I tried our hardest to be part of a culture that wanted nothing with us. Even after many efforts I still got bullied and the children in my class would exclude me off things. Writing about this time is hard, not only for the bullying but because I gave this country my 110 percent and people where still treating me differently. I would sit in front of the tv with subtitles in English just trying to read along an understand. I can proudly say that those kid in that class where the ones that let me from having a F advantage in my first report card to having mostly B and a few As in my last, I also got one of the highest grades in the national while standford test.
I attended a probably 98% white 100%Christian private school. (Aka living hell)
I moved to America barely knowing any English and knowing close to NOTHING culture wise. The school had no ESL program or any special classes that I could be apart of. *insert crying 9year old me crying every night because I didnt understand the homework*. While that uear of my life was awful, and I have block out most of those memories, I do remember celebrating EVERY NATIONAL HOLIDAY. No not just 4th of July , thanksgiving ect., I mean black friday, presidents day, saint patricks day, and basically every holiday in between. We gained so much weight all thanks to 'MURICA goodness of fast food. My family and I tried our hardest to be part of a culture that wanted nothing with us. Even after many efforts I still got bullied and the children in my class would exclude me off things. Writing about this time is hard, not only for the bullying but because I gave this country my 110 percent and people where still treating me differently. I would sit in front of the tv with subtitles in English just trying to read along an understand. I can proudly say that those kid in that class where the ones that let me from having a F advantage in my first report card to having mostly B and a few As in my last, I also got one of the highest grades in the national while standford test.
After having spend 3rd grade in hell, my family decided that maybe houston was a better option. We moved and it was awesome. There is such a strong Hispanic influence here it was great, southern hospitality at its finest. I was able to rebuild a sense of national pride that I had lost after a year or redicule, all thanks to my friend and her family. (Thank you Vicky♥)
After 5th grade I moved to Katy, and the bullying started again. In my experiance in Barbara Bush Elementary no one had the decency to tell me I had a strong accent. I spent my entire middle school years once again make my self the most proper american teenager. Succeeded for the most part, I guess.
After 5th grade I moved to Katy, and the bullying started again. In my experiance in Barbara Bush Elementary no one had the decency to tell me I had a strong accent. I spent my entire middle school years once again make my self the most proper american teenager. Succeeded for the most part, I guess.
This all leads me to today. I have force my self to not try to fit in but to be me, a sarcastic, slightly obnoxious me. Hahaha. I have so much pride in bothe of my countries that at times it scares me that I care so much. America is my home now, and while I know I have change do to it I dont regret it. If it wasnt for my hatred of america at times I would not be able to appreciate Venezuela and Colombia as much as I do today.
You cant choose the 3rd option, or 4th, or 5th.... Life will or can mold you into something great. Something that at its core can resemble ANY option but in the end its not the 3rd option, it's YOUR option and your unique life.
